sucksucksucksuck

OMFG. My proposal is slowly morphing into a paper on molecular modeling, about which I know even less than usual. Seriously, I feel like Neo from The Matrix when he opens his eyes and says, "I know kung-fu."

I know extrapolated motion.

Well, I know it in a cocktail party kind of way, although if I ever find myself at a cocktail party where they're discussing extrapolated motion I will either immediately leave or hit the bar. Hard. I am probably the most self-hating scientist out there. I don't explicitly hate scientists, but society expects all the borderline-autistics and collective weirdos to enter science, so we get 'em all.

But speaking of bars, I went to a free steak dinner with an open bar Tuesday night. I was thinking, "Hey! Open bar! Free food! Awesome!" It sucked hardcore. It was with a bunch of people from NASA, so the company was duller than dull, and it was in NASA's version of a fucking rec hall. I mean. Fuck! You're NASA! You got shit up in space, and this is where you hold a dinner for winners of some school science fair? Some of those little whippersnappers did projects that sound more impressive than what I'm doing right now! Then we were bored to death by some totally self-obsessed, boring-as-all-hell, NASA scientist who showed us INTERMINABLE PowerPoint slides of radar images. One after the other. And I couldn't even get more wine. Completely foiled. And all this after spending a day fighting with my proposal.

Anyway, it reminded me why I don't eat out. The best part of the whole meal was actual arugula and raw broccoli in the salad (can't overcook raw broccoli!). Everything else was overcooked and bland, and I could have spackled my walls with the cheesecake. But there was free wine! (And Miller Light, but come on, Miller Lite?)

Today was the bio department's BBQ, and I scored some more free food, but again... it was crappy. They even messed up the hummus. Right now I'm burning off that overcooked hamburger trying to put citations into my proposal. I learned Reference Manager today. Seriously, I need to do a massive core dump. I have learned so much in the last 2 months, I can't even believe it. I'm rapidly approaching "brain stuck cannot go anymore" but I'm staving it off with small pieces of chocolate.

A big thank you to one of my labmates who brought in said chocolate today. :)

(I think I deleted the word "fuck" roughly 8 times in this post. That's how strung out I am right now. I need to go to the gym, but I can't. MUST. FINISH. CITING. IMAGINARY. PAPERS. I. ONLY. PRETENDED. TO. READ.)