Wort

I am one of those people who performs secret arcane fermentation rituals in order to make my own beer just the way I like it in large quantities for cheap. Also, it's just cool! I mean, there's all that science involved, plus a whole new vocabulary of funky words that never developed beyond the old English from whence they sprung. Like "sparge" and "wort" and "kreusen" (I think kreusen is actually German, but English has some pretty deep German influences anyway).

The best part is you can get as into the science as you want. I think they could teach Biochemistry II in its entirety from the perspective of fermenting your own beer. All the metabolism is there; aerobic and anaerobic, as well as the importance of various minerals and compounds to proper yeast function. And then there's a smattering of organic chemistry; the conversion of one compound to something totally different to generate a scent of cloves, for instance. Even different species of yeast produce different chemicals, and the beer you get is highly impacted by what strain of yeast you toss into the muddy syrup that is your wort.

And then there are hops, which are really polarizing. I love the smell of hops. Danny simply tolerates it. What starts out smelling a bit like very pungent and strong lawn mower clippings ends up giving the beer a citrusy floral smell, some bitterness, and antimicrobial properties. The antimicrobial thing I find really interesting, because it allows the wort, which is a sugar, vitamin, and mineral-rich broth made from steeped grains, to stay sterile long enough for the yeast to establish themselves as the dominant organism. For instance, India pale ales (IPAs) are more bitter. Why? The beer was more heavily hopped up because it had to stay microrganism-free in the heat and humidity of India for the British soldiers stationed there. Drug companies should take note. :)

Alternatively, you can say "Screw the science!" and just revel in your personal ability to get yourself drunk.

From scratch!

Which I do. I couldn't tell you how much alcohol was in either of our 2 batches of homebrew. I do science at work. Brewing is nifty fun that gets me drunk and keeps my madd food science skillz honed.

The thing is, I really enjoy alcohol in all its forms. I love vodka and gin and tequila and rum, good wine is always highly appreciated, and I love good beer and even cider. (I'm not talking Woodchuck brand, but more along the lines of this. You know, cider that actually tastes like apples. Liberty Spy is a good one to try. One day, Legacy won't be sold out, and I'll get to try that one.) Distillation is borderline against the law. The rules vary state to state, sometimes small quantities are legal, but I can brew beer with impunity. As much as I'd like to try to make my own applejack (one of my uncle's patients made him some and it was like someone concentrated the essence of Apple - and I don't mean Gwyneth Paltrow's kid - into this incredibly alcoholic liquid fire; drinking it was practically a religious experience), I fear the law too much.

So, I stick with beer brewing. Ommegang 3 Philosophers will put you under the table, and one day I'd like to try something as insanely complex as that, but right now Danny and I have had enough on our hands trying to do a spiced Belgian wit beer, in the image of Hoegaarden. Funny story about this one. After we poured the wort into the fermenter, we added the yeast. Typically, you have a blowoff tube to release the pressure from the carbon dioxide the yeast produce. The first 24 hours, the fermentation was so rigorous, at some point in the night it clogged the tube, the cork exploded off the fermenter, and beer crud spattered all the way up the wall onto the ceiling. There was a 1-foot blast radius on the ceiling which actually looked quite funny. We'll know how the beer turns out July 4th weekend. We made it so we could bring some homebrew to my family's July 5th party at my grandma's house.

Anyway, this weekend is a beer-and-pizza party, but Danny and I made the beer ourselves (it was our first batch, a nice mellow ale), and we're also going to make the pizza. It's not that hard. We'll do the dough the night before and let it rise in the fridge overnight. We have a huge can of tomato product that we'll transmogrify into a nice tangy sauce, and I might make some meringues to go with fresh fruit for dessert. (Nice contrast to the heavy beer and pizza.) It should be quite tasty... :)